


Shade and Sunshine - A Darksparks Drabble Collection

by Soak



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Cats, DarkSparks, Domestic Fluff, Drabble Collection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Introspection, Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25872097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soak/pseuds/Soak
Summary: Just little darksparks ideas that aren't enough to be full stories. No proofreading, so please forgive occasional typos and errors.Rated T for now, will update in the event a new piece necessitates it.1) Waves and Footsteps2) Find Me When We Wake Up3) Monsieur Chat4) La Bise
Relationships: Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Comments: 7
Kudos: 78





	1. Waves and Footsteps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will never stop writing sensory-based Nat stuff. gosh does she need a nap and a cuddle

Natalie hung on tight, feeling the wind pull at her jeans. The blue-tipped fields raced by, blurring together like spilled paint. Early autumn on Solace—chilly, but her new leather jacket did the job. Renee insisted she get one before they took their hiatus.

The whine of the engine cut through the wall of noise around her helmet. She could feel the rhythm of the road, its old, cracked pavement, now an hour outside the city. Paths like these were mostly forgotten these days. For a truck it might be obnoxious—for their motorcycle, it could easily be dangerous.

If the driver was careless or slow, of course. Renee was neither. A lean there, a tweak here; she saw the hazards well in advance. Or heard them, more likely. The voices of the void were always on the look out, Natalie had been told. On moments like these, she felt like they were watching over her, too.

Natalie pulled herself closer, her arms coming together along Renee's stomach. She leaned her head on her shoulder, closing her eyes. Too much color, too much movement. They still had a ways to go—she couldn't smell the salt yet.

A hand touched her thigh, reaching back, running slowly along her leg. _"You good?"_

Natalie squeezed her embrace gently. _"I'll be fine."_

She could feel the nod in Renee's muscles, tightening and loosing along her back. Two light taps on her jeans before the hand moved away. _"Hang in there."_

The bike dipped to the side, then returned to normal. The engine growled, climbing higher, whirring faster. The wind pulled harder.

\--

Loose gravel crunched under the tires like new snow. Calm filtered in. Natalie opened her eyes.

The driveway ended not ten yards away. Just as she remembered, the boxy, grey-stoned house with the blue door. It was small, not much bigger than her apartment in the city. Soon, the chimney would have real smoke billowing out, the windows lit by ancient tungsten lights, warm and soft.

No drowning in LEDs, no storm of information to stay afloat in, no sirens in the distance. Real salt in the air, the only roar being the waves below.

Renee kicked the stand down and killed the engine. She kept her hands glued to the handles, waiting patiently. Natalie stirred, picking her head up, and gave one more grateful squeeze. They broke apart, slowly coming to grips with their stiff legs, stretching and groaning.

The wind buffeted Renee's hair as she took the helmet off, blasting it every which way across her face. She scowled and tried to brush it away to no avail. Natalie kept hers on, her giggles muffled by the padding. The scowl lifted into a small grin.

"We should get inside first, _chérie._ "

"All right."

They waded through knee-high grass, undoing the lock, pushing into the cozy interior. Wood paneling, throw-rugs on the floor, a dark futon in the center—peering out the far double-glass doors and into the grey daylight. The kitchen was tucked away to the side, only a gas stove and an old refrigerator, closed off by a small table. To the other side, a wood fireplace, surrounded in stone. One modest bed and bath around the corner.

It'd be weird not sleeping on the couch, for once.

Natalie took her helmet off, breathing deeply, the pine and dust and old charcoal smelling like home. Soon it'd be tinged with cherry smoke and whatever was roasting in the oven. Fresh coffee in the mornings and the bite of tannins at night. She remembered what this house was like with her father, when he had done the same, when the world grew too loud.

The wind's howl died as the door closed, leaving just the hushed crash of waves, felt more than heard. Renee exhaled, shaking her head, clearing her face of hair. "Well, this is nicer than I thought it'd be."

"Is it so comfy, is it not?" Natalie let her pack slump to the ground along with her helmet. They'd sort away groceries soon. She turned on her feet, finding her partner. "It is my favorite place on all of Solace."

"Was it worth the ride?" Renee's eyes searched for her girlfriend for wear and tear. Her hands reached out, finding shoulders, rubbing up and down. "You doing okay?"

Truth be told, Natalie's smile took a bit more energy than usual. It didn't pull up as high on her cheeks. " _C'est bon, je vais bien_. Just a bit tired." She leaned against Renee, their leather jackets creaking against each other. "The bag was heavy, that is all."

Renee nodded, her thumbs working in slow circles on Natalie's back. "All right." She popped up on her toes, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I'll put stuff away then, just relax on the couch."

"Are you sure? You drove the whole way."

"We got a whole month. A little extra work won't hurt me." Her hands ran up and down her back before she pulled away. "You promised to do the cooking, anyway."

Natalie almost held on tight, like they were back on the bike. Now that they were here, stashed away from the world, there wasn't much reason to be apart. Still, she let her go. "Yes, but it is so I can be _teaching_ you. You will have to be helping some nights, _mon petit chou._ "

"Right, right." Renee rolled her eyes, shying away from the new pet name. Begrudgingly, she had allowed it. "Well, get comfortable. I'll be right- oh… damn, this bag is heavy."

"No taking backs!" Natalie called as she meandered to the futon.

"Nat… it's _take-backs_."

"Is it? What a funny thing to say." She slumped into the couch, finding the blanket draped over the top, pulling it across herself. One long breath escaped her lips, then another. Her head found a pillow. Soon enough her feet were up on the cushions, lying on her side, staring out the glass doors. On the horizon, the pale water waited, pleasantly dull under overcast skies.

Later, she'd take her onto the deck, to look out over the cliffs and see the rolling sea below. But for now, knowing they were there was comforting enough. She could hear the low thrum of waves crashing on rock, she could hear Renee's soft, creaking movements in the other room. Natalie basked in the quiet.

She closed her eyes, letting her mind find the twin, cozy noises, listening to them between each breath. For the first time in months and years, the deep stress started to fall away. Just two sounds, not the city's hundreds. Her consciousness dulled, settling and hazy. Sleep was calling.

No, Renee's footsteps weren't quite the same as her father's scribbling pen on paper, but it was enough. Between them and the waves, she felt at home again.


	2. Find Me When We Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops

Sparks flew up and down the fence, the chains rattling along The Pit's top floor. Wattson fell to the floor, covering her head, hearing more lead whizz by. Not good. Two squads, sandwiching them in the center. Sure, her fences made sure nobody could come up, but the ring was roaring closer and closer, and they had no safe exit.

Mirage had been gunned down making it up here. She looked over to Wraith, who was peeking at the other group. She was fumbling with the flatline's magazine, spewing curses left and right. Not good. She never panicked when she still felt in control.

Natalie groaned, getting back up on her knees, bringing her triple take back up to her shoulder. She looked over the edge again, watching a trio of assailants stream down the grassy hills. Their only bet was for each group to meet each other and duke it out instead.

"Nat! We got a problem!"

Wattson took her eye away from the scope, turning her head. "What?"

"Gibraltar is down there—you got a pylon-"

A crackling thunderclap split the air. The metal fence rent in two, exploding in front of Wraith, throwing her ten feet back. The blue holo of her shield flickered weakly once and went still. Her body tumbled, turning and flailing along the cold steel.

"Renee!"

Wattson scrambled close, more sparks flying as the combined assault continued. Thermite flames burst by her feet, crossing the ground with angry lines of fire. She charged through, wincing as the burns crawled hungrily up her legs. All that mattered was getting to her, making sure that she was still breathing.

Her trembling, pain-wracked hands cradled Wraith's form. Those pale-blue eyes flicked open, staring up at her. "F- fuck." She coughed, ragged and broken. "Didn't know they had one of those on 'em."

Wattson began instinctively rubbing her palms together, letting the electricity flow from her coil. Terror and adrenaline were rattling her mind, turning her words into incoherent babbles. "It- it's okay! Let me get you up, okay _chérie_? Just stay- _mon dieu c'est mauvais._ Stay with me! We- we can figure a way out and-"

A metallic orb dropped onto the ground beside them, blinking with red lights. A deep boom resonated in the sky above.

Renee coughed again, shaking her head. Her hands drew away from the wound in her chest, instead clasping them around one of Natalie's. She held her breath, forcing her eyes, so wracked in agony, to remain on each other's. Here, at the end, a sad smile. "It's okay, Nat. F- find me when we wake up."

They had done this dozens of times before. So why was it so damn hard now?

Natalie put on a brave face, nodding down at her. She pulled her in closer. Red circles wreathed around them, the scream of missiles growing louder. "I will, _mon petit_ -"

\--

Sunlight filtered in through the windows. Birds chirped outside above the drone of Solace City. Natalie glanced about blearily, finding her phone. Too early. She grabbed fistfuls of the blanket and bundled up into it. The side of her face went further into her pillow.

The dark mass in front of her came into focus. Renee's hair, loose and undone and silky. She smiled to herself, cuddling in closer, spooning against her back. Her girlfriend had only started sleeping here for a few weeks now, and it still made her wonder if she was dreaming.

Natalie settled into the warmth and the proximity, wrapping one arm around Renee's waist. It was peaceful, quiet, just the two of them. She hardly remembered getting home from their match last night, so beaten and exhausted, but moments like these made it easier. No fighting, no noise—just with Renee, still and calm and-

Wait, was she breathing? Panic spiked in the engineer, seizing her gut. Her hands frantically ran up Renee, feeling along her chest, her fingers pressing into her neck. It was too calm and she couldn't be sure and what if something went wrong with the spawn bays and what if the-"

"Huh?!" The figure before her sprung up, whirling and flailing, their hands finding her own and batting them away. "N- Nat?! What—" Renee turned to her, her eyes wide "—what's wrong? Is everything all right?"

The sigh, the pure relief fell out instantly. Natalie went limp, falling into her, her heart thundering in her chest and ears. She was wide awake, the all-too-familiar rush of adrenaline working through her body. Today was supposed to be one of rest.

"S- sorry." Her words were small and trembling, muffled in Renee's shirt. "I... I got scared."

Renee exhaled, long and deep. She fixed her girlfriend with a concerned gaze, settling back into the bed. Her arms reached out and brought them closer together. "It... it's okay. You just startled me, that's all." Her fingers began running slowly through her hair. "Bad dream?"

"No." More shuddering breaths into cotton and body heat. Natalie gripped her tighter, just to be sure she was there. "The match... I can not... It's still..."

"Oh." Renee frowned. Her lips moved along the top of Natalie's head. "Hey, it's okay. It's just you and me today, we can do whatever you need." She moved her hand up and down her back. "Do... do you want to talk about it?"

Natalie gave a weary shrug, her body starting to come down from it's high. She intertwined their legs, seeking as much contact as possible. "I do not... how? I..." Another frustrated exhale, hot tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. "This has... never bothered me."

Renee smoothed out her hair. "What has?"

"I trust science." Natalie sniffled, trying to keep herself together. "I- I know how it works, I have read the papers and journals and tests and- and..."

"Nat," Renee's voice was sharper, tinted with worry, "what's wrong?" She brushed the backs of her fingers along Natalie's face, stopping short at her damp cheeks, then continuing again. Slower.

"I... do not... doubt that I will wake up." A choppy breath in and out. "But you... I worry now and- and... why? Why you?" The last part eked out. "Why only you?" The dam collapsed.

"Oh, hey..." Renee sniffed, wrapping her up. "It's okay. I got you." Her words were as soft as the blankets on Natalie's ears.

They laid in bed for a while, letting it all fall out and come undone. The sounds of the city began to rise as the morning drawled on. Eventually, the wet spots on Renee's shirt began to dry.

"Do you want to take a break?" as soft as before. "It can be just the two of us."


	3. Monsieur Chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to get myself over writing the last one

"Which one, _chérie_?"

"Doesn't matter to me."

Natalie pulled a t-shirt out from the drawer, a purple so dark it looked black in the dim light. Putting it on, it was a smidge too tight for a pajama shirt—to be expected when borrowing Renee's clothes. But it was also soft and smelled like her, so it won out.

"Are you sure this is fine? My place is not far, I do not mind-"

"Nat, it's okay." Renee undid her hair on the edge of the bed. It unraveled and draped along her bare shoulders. "Grab me one, too."

The engineer smiled and nodded. She turned to her, running appraising eyes up and down. Renee gave her a perplexed look which, when she caught on, grew unimpressed. She put her hands to her hips, not bothering to cover up.

"What?" Natalie asked with a grin. "I just want to know which color goes best on you."

"Sure you do. Just pick one and get over here."

"Okay, this one. Now we can pretend to be each other."

Renee chuckled as she caught the orange shirt and pulled it on. She forgot she had it, really. The blankets pulled away, for once from the whole bed, letting Natalie settle in beside her. It was the first time they'd made a conscious effort to fall asleep together. The other times they'd been too hazy and deep in the afterglow to care—not that it was a bad thing, either.

Renee switched off the table lamp, plunging the room into darkness.

Sheets shuffled next to her as body heat grew close. Natalie's hands found her arm. "Thank you for the surprise. It was very nice."

"Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it. I wanted to."

Renee pulled the blankets up higher, bundling them both within. More rustling and Natalie's head rested on her shoulder. Warm breath tickled her ear. Lips pecked her cheek.

" _Tu es très gentil_ —you are very sweet sometimes, you know?"

"Hmm, if you say so."

"I do." Natalie shifted, wrapping at arm around Renee's stomach, pulling flush alongside her. "Is... is this comfortable? Do you want to be on your side?"

"I'm good like this. Thanks, though."

Natalie hummed in response, burying her nose into the cotton hem of her shirt. The distant city was all that remained, muffled through the windows. Slow, long contented breaths from both sides. Renee lazily ran her knuckles along her hip.

A chirping noise came from the floor, the corner of the mattress thrumming as something ran along it.

Natalie tensed, picking her head up. "What-"

A thump from the hardwood, and then a mass landed on the blankets.

Renee chuckled. "Oh, right. I wondered when he'd get over himself."

"He?"

Tiny, uncertain steps pressed around their legs, quiet atop the blankets. There were a couple tentative touches on Renee's hip, the creature still making its mind up.

"Felix isn't a fan of new people. You're not allergic to cats, are you?"

"Ah, _mon dieu_ \- no, I am not." Natalie fell back into her pillow, letting out a sigh. "I was worried for a moment—like, who else is here?"

"Heh, sorry."

Felix climbed up on Renee, letting out a low purr as he settled onto her chest. She traced her fingers along his chin.

"I did not know you had a cat. Is he nice?"

"Yeah—at least, I think he is. Just shy. The past few times you've been over, we probably scared him."

"Oh? Should we be quieter next time? You are the loud one though-"

Renee coughed, startling her pet. "He'll be fine." She soothed him with a few pets along his cheek, earning more purrs. Her voice raised an octave. "Do you want to say hi?"

"Yes."

"Not you."

A giggle.

"Fine, here, give me your hand."

"Okay."

Renee took her girlfriend's hand, slowly bringing it over. She felt when Felix tensed up, so she stopped, letting the cat approach at its own pace. Her mind's eye painted the silence—whiskers twitching, eyes curious, nose pointed out. She heard the tiny set of sniffs, then his weight shifted.

Natalie loosed a happy little gasp, her whole body going still. They waited for a few seconds more. Felix inched his way closer, and then pushed his face across both of their hands. Renee let go.

She could feel the engineer's smile. Her voice went soft and squeaky. "Hello, _monsieur chat._ Do you want to be friends?"

The purr rumbled louder. The soft brushing of Natalie's fingers on fur filled out the silence. It was growing a little warm for Renee, hemmed in on two sides by her favorite people. She didn't mind.

"Ooh! I think you are a secret sweetie too—just like Renee!"

"Yeah, well... he's a bad influence."

"Mhmm, so terrible." Natalie waved her away. Felix mewed as the petting stopped. "Ah, you are too cute!"

Renee breathed out a laugh."You're gonna have to share, you know."

" _Quoi?_ "

"He always sleeps on the bed with me. So... if you keep staying over, you might have some competition."

"Oh... well that is fine with me. I think he likes me already."

"Of course he does," Renee said with a yawn. She turned and kissed Natalie's forehead. "Should we get some sleep?"

"Sure."

Natalie cuddled up closer, her fingers still running along the cat's chin. She shuffled a few times to find a comfortable spot, and then relaxed with a long sigh.

"I like this."

"Me too."

Time lulled, wandering by, as the mattress grew deeper and deeper. The two sunk into the warm embrace of the night, their breaths evening out. Felix purred, even as the petting grew still.


	4. La Bise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor renee
> 
> but also not, because couples should 100% be best friends. just a fun jab at all that

Renee paused at the door. She cast a glance down the hallway, making sure it was empty. The tangle of nerves in her gut was unbearable—she prided herself on remaining cool through it all.

This really shouldn't be so hard.

The box of pastries in the crook of her arm shifted, crunching against the plastic cover of a small selection of flowers. Plus the Nessie doll, her whole excuse in the first place. Well, okay, calling it an excuse felt cheap.

Her feelings brought her here, but it felt too soon to be honest with herself about it.

Renee took a deep breath in and knocked. She tapped her foot anxiously and waited. Thumping steps from the other side grew near.

"H- hello?"'

The Frenchwoman looked frazzled and exhausted, her bangs sticking out in multiple directions. The sweater she wore was crossed with crease-lines and coffee stains.

"Hey, Nat." She could rehearse it in her sleep by now. "I, uh... well, you've had a hard time recently, so I thought I should congratulate you on the win. And, ah, well..." Maybe not. "There- there's some tarts and- oh right, here's the Nessie you forgot in the locker room, and these are daisies, and uh-"

Natalie chuckled. It was light and weak, but it turned the corner of her lips upward.

" _C'est bien_ , Renee. Thank you for the thought."

She tip-toed closer, placing her hands on her shoulders. Then, bewilderingly, she leaned her face close, right to Renee's. Was- was it happening? Those lips, how she always wondered- and they skimmed right by. Cheek pressed cheek, and Natalie kissed the air by her ear. Once, twice.

Natalie pulled away. "Would you like to come in?"

"Ah..." Renee coughed, her heart still racing, trying to understand just what had happened. Chills gripped at her lungs. The shocked expression on her face was impossible to rein in.

"I will make you some coffee, okay? You look... out of it."

"I just... hold on. _What_ was that?"

"Hmm? Oh, you mean _la bise_?"

"Yes?"

"You are talking about the kiss, right?" She chuckled again and smiled. "Sorry, I will not do it again if you do not want me to. It is just a greeting for friends, you know?"

"Oh, well... that- that's fine, I guess." God, she was burning up. "It's for friends?"

Natalie nodded. "It is a way to greet people you are close to. And... I hope you do not mind, but you are my best friend, Renee."

"Huh." The sound tumbled out of Renee's mouth before she could blink. Flurries of emotion balled up in her chest, and hardly good ones. "That is... wow. Th- thanks, Nat."

The engineer kept beaming. At least she was happy. "You are welcome! Now, come in, come in! We can be sharing the treats you brought."

Renee's brain screamed at the thought—she just needed to get some space and process her failure. Being cooped up together, pining over every dumb pun and scientific ramble, it might very well break her.

"N- no! I mean, no, I... have some errands to run. Just wanted to stop by, but uh, yeah. Laundry."

She began handing the gifts over, a perplexed and amused expression rising on Natalie's face. Her head tilted as she took the pastries and flowers nonetheless.

"Well, okay then. Thank you again, this is very nice, Renee."

She turned on her heels. "Yeah, uh, cool. Good night, see ya Nat."

A slight pause, then the door creaked. "Good night!"

As Renee stomped away, she couldn't help but feel a little guilty. It wasn't fair to get angry with Natalie, not after all she'd been through, how she was still hurting. And yet, even so, the frustration in her stomach was agonizing. She _thought_ she had been clear enough with the flowers. The ghosting taste of success had come so close.

Dumb, stupid "la bees", getting her hopes up. Whatever.

Next time, she'll just plant a "la bees" on Natalie's face.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates @ [my twitter](https://twitter.com/cozysoak)


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